I need help removing her.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
