Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
