imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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