I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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