I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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