ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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