marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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