Ambien. No doubt about it.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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