I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize