how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
