I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
