i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We are two peas in an std pod
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
