Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize