Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  this is mike. we're done.

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  (917): I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike (1-917): this is mike. we're done. http://tfl.nu/abns
  Replies (21) Good night (883) Bad night (2991)
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  (323): View more from California

  I totes stole your whore crown.

  (239): View more from Florida

  With great power comes great responsibility.

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  (323): I totes stole your whore crown. (239): With great power comes great responsibility. http://tfl.nu/gvmp
  Replies (57) Good night (6064) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.

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  (781): Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning. (1-781): I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon. http://tfl.nu/wxu1
  Replies (19) Good night (6170) Bad night (676)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.

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  (407): You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it. http://tfl.nu/b0d6
  Replies (18) Good night (5903) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.

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  (302): I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket. http://tfl.nu/5q0l
  Replies (10) Good night (3321) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?

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  (214): could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea? http://tfl.nu/4zul
  Replies (11) Good night (964) Bad night (2535)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.

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  (412): dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes. http://tfl.nu/34tx
  Replies (20) Good night (916) Bad night (2434)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.

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  (314): He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real. http://tfl.nu/dekt
  Replies (3) Good night (1581) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.

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  (908): He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS. http://tfl.nu/gbcc
  Replies (16) Good night (1800) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.

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  (713): Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away. http://tfl.nu/vae8
  Replies (5) Good night (1762) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.

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  (315): After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was. http://tfl.nu/s812
  Replies (6) Good night (1102) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.

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  (520): I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013. http://tfl.nu/sp2x
  Replies (2) Good night (812) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well

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  (832): Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well http://tfl.nu/k7w9
  Replies (1) Good night (393) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy

  (813): View more from Florida

  HE'S NOT INVITED!!!

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  (727): The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy (813): HE'S NOT INVITED!!! http://tfl.nu/3870
  Replies (3) Good night (491) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone

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  (484): I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone http://tfl.nu/t0ck
  Replies (1) Good night (402) Bad night (591)

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