Porn is love you can see.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
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I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
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He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit