it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
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Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
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I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?