Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  When do i get to see u next week?

  (1-805): View more from California

  When I teabag your entire family

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  (805): When do i get to see u next week? (1-805): When I teabag your entire family http://tfl.nu/lkxo
  Replies (12) Good night (1364) Bad night (2574)
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  (310): View more from California

  Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?

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  (310): Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too? http://tfl.nu/j0i5
  Replies (57) Good night (1338) Bad night (3921)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...

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  (650): Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day... http://tfl.nu/p3lj
  Replies (51) Good night (6704) Bad night (1156)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  she just took adderol and chased it w dog water

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  (781): she just took adderol and chased it w dog water http://tfl.nu/pwol
  Replies (26) Good night (968) Bad night (5541)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...

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  (781): I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet... http://tfl.nu/t0x0
  Replies (7) Good night (1215) Bad night (3627)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.

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  (603): Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case. http://tfl.nu/luz6
  Replies (18) Good night (1154) Bad night (2276)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi

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  (412): just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi http://tfl.nu/nlgm
  Replies (4) Good night (733) Bad night (2234)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...

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  (858): You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there... http://tfl.nu/mklp
  Replies (5) Good night (930) Bad night (1827)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.

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  (817): I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face. http://tfl.nu/oog9
  Replies (8) Good night (792) Bad night (3715)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.

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  (360): What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is. http://tfl.nu/1m0s
  Replies (11) Good night (2327) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.

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  (818): All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since. http://tfl.nu/jafz
  Replies (7) Good night (1102) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.

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  (206): I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die. http://tfl.nu/n2ik
  Replies (1) Good night (861) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA

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  (931): I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA http://tfl.nu/jla7
  Replies (2) Good night (987) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Are sex swings allowed in dorms

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  (925): Are sex swings allowed in dorms http://tfl.nu/achv
  Replies (7) Good night (1146) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex

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  (330): You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex http://tfl.nu/5nsy
  Replies (1) Good night (387) Bad night (207)

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