she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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