I forgot how hot balto sounded
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
