i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
