Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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