My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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