Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
