is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize