Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Sponge bath it is.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
