Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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