I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
is wine microwaveable?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
