Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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