Betty ford says i'm here all night
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We are two peas in an std pod
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
