Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
