He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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