This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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