I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
