i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
