Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
