My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize