You smell like stripper and shame
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize