Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
