I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
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I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
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Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize