she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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