There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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