I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
