You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
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So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Randomize