Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
