this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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