i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
