I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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