I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize
