At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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