Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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