I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
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I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
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At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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