the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
