I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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