We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
