can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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