I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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