I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
