I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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