I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Terrible idea I love it
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
