Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize