She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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