there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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