I am in a vortex of obligation.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
