dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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